Like many parents at this time of year I was sitting here thinking about Christmas and in particular past Christmas's - when the kids were small and I didn't feel quite so old and ancient. It didn't seem that long ago we were watching them perform at their primary school nativity plays. Proud parents watching their kids and hoping they don't drop baby Jesus from the crib, or trip up one of the three wise men on stage. Daughter thinking that as Mary the Mother of Christ she should have been allowed to wear her Fairy wings, son not understanding why he had to be one of the wise men and not Joseph - after all in the Bible Joseph didnt have sticky out ears and wear glasses!!
A locus of control develops in a child at a very early age based on how the child is encouraged, praised, nurtured and directed through those early years but as a parent then I had no idea about locus of control. My daughter went through school, did well, always very popular - every week it seemed that we were forking out for a present she could take to her latest friends party - and as they grow older you start to wonder what the future holds, what job they may end up in. I think my daughter always knew what she wanted to do from a very early age and was never swayed. She knew what it was she wanted to achieve but had to take responsibility to make it happen as no one could do it for her. It required putting in some effort - in fact I will correct that - it required putting in a lot of effort!
She worked hard, she studied, she knew her path would involve requiring passing examinations and getting good grades, and that it would require getting accepted for a University place. We had blips on the way, self doubts at times, required help from within the family and outside the family, but always that driving force to achieve her goals spurred her on. She even had time for more parties - but the presents she took to those were slightly different from those as a child. She focussed on what she wanted to happen and then took responsibility to make it happen - a strong Internal Locus of Control. She got her rewards and achieved her goal, and of course I'm a proud parent. As a proud parent I process MY role in that process which boosts my own Internal Locus Of Control....
So why I am thinking about this all now? Well as I said its that time of year when Nativity Plays and other school productions get in full swing and this year I again have a child involved in primary school productions. But there is a difference as this is now my child, who is now the Primary School Teacher, with their own class of Year 6 children, putting on a show for parents - young and old :-)
Taking responsibility to make happen whatever you want to happen takes effort, and it won't happen over night. Your goal maybe to get a new job, lose weight, stop smoking, save for a house, get a qualification but whatever it is you CAN achieve it. Just don't wait for things to happen - make them happen and when they do make sure you really process the achievement.
If you want help to get that Locus of Control then give me a call on 01234 313186 or email me on Greg.coyne@purehypno.com
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