Today a client came in to my office and stated - Greg, my life is shit, Im a generous man but everyone I help shits on me. Why does it ALWAYS happen to me? Well those who know me will vouch for the fact that I am very tactful, wouldnt say boo to a goose, so will not be surprised when I replied " Thats absolute BOLLOCKS !!"
Now this man has very low self esteem, huge external locus of control, and is very social phobic so its not really surprising that he has totally mis-managed thinking at the moment having only had one session so far. The secret to being a good, nay a GREAT therapist, is having an ability to listen and hang on to information in case it comes in handy at any point. So out comes the old pad and paper and I draw a circle and around the circle I write "My Life is Shit"... said man replies Spot on !!
Now out comes my ammunition...
Ok so everyone shits on you eh... how many people have shit on you and not appreciated your generosity? Reply - about 20!
If you are a generous man you wouldnt have just helped 20 would you so how many others have you helped that haven't shit on you? Reply Probably well over 200
Hmnn... so how does 20 out of 220 relate to a statement of everyone then????
How long have you been married I ask to which he replies about 25 years....
How many kids and how have they turned out? Reply 2 and yes pretty good !!
You rolled up in a Bentley last week and an XK Jag this week so is your business good as I think you own your own Company? Reply yes business is fantastic.
So I think you can see where this is going - its very easy to think your life is shit and I would add even if you think it NEVER say it !! But sometimes you have to break the picture down in to smaller segments...
This guy had people a long time ago that shit on him, but he carried on helping other people. He is a really good guy so process that achievement !!
This guy owns and controls a multi-million pound Company even though his health is not the best. He is a successful business man who looks after the welfare of his workers so process that achievement !!
This man has been married for over 20 years and looked after his wife and helped develop his children. So process the fact he is a great husband and a loving father !!
The only problem is that he has lost perpective on his life, hasnt processed his achievements properly instead focussing on the negative aspects of his life which actually are pretty small... So he walked away today with a spring in his step, his THRIVE book under his arm, and an action that he decided to do this evening which was to write down all the good things in his life.... his life is magically no longer shit it is - as he put it - actually bloody good!!
Is it time you changed your life around? Call me now on 01234-313186, email me on greg.coyne@purehypno.com or visit my website the Bedford Hypnotherapist. I can help you - I cant fix you BUT I can give you all the tools to fix yourself!!
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